What happens after happily ever after? Does things that have always bugged you about the person, suddenly become this monstrous huge flaw that can't be overlooked? Does everything that you once loved about the person suddenly become mundane and silly? Or does everything stay the same, but better - quiet and peaceful. Some marriages stay on both ends I take it - or rather from what I have observed. Some are fortunate enough to simply stay on the first option. But others, unfortunately, stay on the the opposite end - eventually leading to the dreaded word - divorce. But of course, leading up to that type of situation is always a slow build up of something irreversible that happened in your marriage.
And when can you say enough is enough? How far would you really go to save a marriage? Aside from the obvious, when the person is physically harming you or any of your children. No not the obvious. I'm not talking about life and death situation here. I'm talking about problems in your marriage that is subtle, but yet as the years gone by, it has grown so big - it is hard not to stare at it and avoid it. Or how about it if someone committed infidelity in your marriage? Yes, everyone says - I would definitely leave that person. But, would you really? Is it really that easy to say when the other person is begging for your forgiveness, and still wants to work it out? Do you really want to raise your children all by yourself? And what if a small - or rather huge part of you still loves that person - is that person being unfaithful enough to really completely leave the marriage?
Then there is communication. Communication is such a huge part of marriage. Yet, sometimes, I don't think a lot of people really put that into consideration. If none of the other party is truly trying to communicate, things can go haywire from there. Or rather, the marriage can slowly fall apart before your very own eyes, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Or is there? How far can you go by trying to communicate with that person, even though that person is closing up on you? And no matter what you do, they are always in a defensive mode. Is it because of how they grew up as a child? When you're always in constant defense mode, that even when someone is trying to communicate with you properly, you still feel as if they are attacking you? How do you fix that?
In the end, when is enough really enough? I know marriages out there that last forever, despite their humongous differences, despite the intolerable actions that one partner can do - yet, the other person has learned to adapt to him or her and therefore has made the marriage work. But is that purely based on utter culture - a belief that divorce is not an option? Or is that a human's ability to keep a promise to stand with that person for the rest of their life, because well - that's what marriage is supposed to be. For better or for worse, am I correct? Or -- is it -- shall I breathe it out - LOVE? Are these people truly and utterly so in love that despite everything else, it's still all worth it?
I'm not sure what makes one couple be able to stand such hardships throughout their marriage and not separate, while another couple at some point in their lives, decide to throw in the towel. And which couple is stronger really? Being able to adapt to each other and mold yourself into each others personality and traits, or refusing to let go of who you are individually and staying true to that aspect?
It's a question that has been traveling my mind for that past few weeks. Yet, the funny thing is -- I still don't have an answer to. And what scares me more is - the question as to whether I will ever find one.
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